When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, the details matter — especially whose name appears first on the envelope when sending an invite to a couple. It’s a small touch, but one that reflects thoughtfulness, tradition, and etiquette.

Whether you're mailing to married couples, unmarried partners, or guests with professional titles, we’re breaking down the essentials so you can feel confident with every envelope you send.

The Traditional Rules of Envelope Addressing

Traditionally, etiquette follows a few key rules when addressing wedding invitations to couples:

For Married Couples:

The man's name typically comes first:
Example: Mr. and Mrs. James Hamilton

If the woman goes by her maiden name:
Example: Mr. James Hamilton and Mrs. Elizabeth Carter

For Unmarried Couples Living Together:

The woman’s name comes first, listed on its own line:
Example:
Ms. Emily Stone
Mr. Theodore Reeves

This format reflects traditional etiquette while respecting each individual’s identity.

When Professional Titles Are Involved

Titles like Doctor, Judge, or military ranks can influence name order — and when they’re involved, traditional etiquette recommends placing the higher-ranking title first.

One guest with a title

If one guest has a professional or honorary title — such as Doctor, Judge, or a military rank — their name should be listed first, regardless of gender or marital status. This is a long-standing etiquette rule that acknowledges rank or achievement.

Examples:

Dr. Mia Jones and Mr. Jack Jones

The Honorable James White and Mrs. Emily White

Captain Thomas Reed
Ms. Lauren Davis

Both guests with Different titles

If both individuals hold different titles, list the name with the higher-ranking title first. So if one guest is a doctor and the other a judge, the judge’s name would be listed first:

Example:
The Honorable Sarah Bennett and Dr. Thomas Bennett

Note: Generally, military officers rank highest, followed by judges and elected officials (The Honorable), then doctors, and finally standard titles like Mr. and Mrs.

Both guests have the same title

When both individuals have titles of equal rank (such as two doctors or two active Captains in the military), traditional etiquette typically reverts to the standard order based on marital status:

• If married: the man’s name is listed first.
• If unmarried: the woman’s name goes first.
• Alternatively, alphabetical order is also acceptable for a gender-neutral approach.

Designer Tip: Not sure which title takes precedence? Make your best judgment — but feel free to ask your designer about any specific examples during the proofing process. They’d be happy to help clarify!

Formal vs. Informal Envelopes

Don’t forget that you may be working with double envelopes if you’re using formal invitation suites — one outer envelope for mailing, and one inner envelope for clarity and presentation.

Outer envelope: Follows formal etiquette (titles, full names)
Example: Mr. and Mrs. James Hamilton

Inner envelope: Can be less formal
Example: James and Elizabeth

How to List Children When Addressing Wedding Invitations

When addressing wedding invitations to a family with children under 18, tradition recommends listing the parents on the first line and the children on the second. Children’s names should appear in order of age — starting with the eldest and working down to the youngest.

Example:
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Lee
Amy (15), Marie (12), and Timothy (7)

Designer Tip: If you're using double envelopes, address the outer envelope to the parents only or to the whole family (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Lee or The Lee Family). Then, on the inner envelope, list the parents on the first line and the children's first names on the second, as mentioned above.

Etiquette Is a Guide — Not a Rulebook

While traditional etiquette offers helpful structure, there’s always room for thoughtful exceptions. If you're closer to one person in a couple — like a lifelong friend or relative — and feel more comfortable listing their name first, that’s perfectly acceptable.

The most important thing is to be consistent and considerate. Swapping the name order for personal reasons won’t cause offense — especially when the invitation itself is warm and thoughtfully presented.

Designer Tip: When in doubt, go with tradition — but trust your instincts when something feels more authentic to your relationship.

FAQs About Addressing Wedding Invitations

Whose name goes first when addressing a wedding invitation?

Traditionally, the man’s name goes first for married couples, and the woman’s name goes first for unmarried couples. If one person holds a title (like Doctor), they are listed first, regardless of gender or marital status.

What if I’m addressing a couple with different last names?

List both full names with the appropriate titles. Married couples can be written on one line (Mr. James Smith and Mrs. Olivia Johnson) or two lines for unmarried couples.

What about same-sex couples — whose name goes first?

There’s no formal rule here. Alphabetical order is a simple and respectful option. Or, list the person you're closer to first. Just be consistent across your guest list.

Do I use "and" between names when addressing envelopes?

Yes, use “and” when addressing a married couple on the same line. For unmarried couples, list each name on its own line, with no “and” between them.

Should I include middle names or initials?

Middle names are optional. For very formal weddings, you may include full names. Otherwise, first and last names with titles are perfectly appropriate.

Can I abbreviate titles like "Doctor" or "Judge"?

Traditionally, titles would be spelled out fully on formal wedding invitation envelopes (ex: Doctor over Dr., and The Honorable over Hon, and so on), but in modern days, it's very common to abbreviate titles, especially ones that are more regularly used, like Doctor.

Ultimately, it comes down to how formal you want your invitations to be. If you're aiming for the most formal option, spell the titles out, but feel free to abbreviate if you're planning something more relaxed or if you're short on space.

Final Touches That Make a Big Impression

Addressing wedding invitations might seem like a small detail, but it’s one of the first impressions your guests will have of your celebration. With a little attention to etiquette and presentation, your envelopes will reflect the care and beauty behind your big day.

If you're still exploring your options, browse our timeless wedding invitation collection, or dive deeper into invitation wording etiquette for more guidance on formal phrasing and formatting.